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[archademode]

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crystal; late one night

[clawings]

You up?

If you ain't up, ignore this. [ Never mind that you possibly woke Gabranth up Erik, but, whatever. ] It ain't important or nothin'.

[archademode]

...It is no trouble. [Spoken with sleep still clinging to the edges of his voice, promising that yes, he was in fact asleep.]

What need have you?

[clawings]

[ Erik curses softly. ]

You were sleepin'. [ Now he feels like a dick. ]

It's not a need. Not really. Just... [ A sigh. ] Folks I know that went off to do shit elsewhere probably ain't comin' back to Riftwatch by the looks of it and I feel some kinda way.

[archademode]

I am old. I need little rest. [Gabranth, that's usually the opposite of how rest works.]

Elsewhere as in...they abandoned their allegiances, you believe?

[clawings]

[ Hear that? That's Erik snorting at you. ]

Sure, old man.

[ Don't think he's gonna let that go anytime soon. ]

Nah. I mean they'll still fight, you know? It's not like they're gonna go become Venatori or what-the-fuck-ever. But they ain't coming back here, I think.

[archademode]

[That Gabranth tolerates it without a word says much. The rest is all focus:]

So it is you that feels abandoned in this.

[clawings]

To say I ain't thrilled with how I feel about it is putting it lightly.

[ He shouldn't feel abandoned, he thinks. No one owed him anything, least of all staying in Kirkwall, with Riftwatch.

Yet it still hurts. ]

[archademode]

Then I would ask who they were to you. What they meant to you.

[He is a poor hand at comfort, at gentleness of any sort, but abandonment is an old (and recent) experience. A source of familiarity that runs deep.]

[clawings]

[ If Erik knew what to do with comfort he'd probably have bothered someone else. ]

They're important. Friends. Maybe more'rn that, I dunno. [ He sighs. It's a heavy sound. ] Wanted it to be more, never got around ta'askin'.

[archademode]

Do you believe, had they known how deep your feelings truly ran, that they would have asked you to leave with them?

[clawings]

[ There's a bit of a pause on Erik's end. ]

I'd like to think so.

[archademode]

...perhaps it is not too late. If you know where they have fled, it is possible you might yet persuade them to remain.

[A pause, one lingering detail he seems hesitant to admit:]

Or you with them, if that is what you desire.

[clawings]

Nah.

I dunno where they are, exactly. Last letter came back to me unopened.

And I ain't leaving Riftwatch.

[archademode]

I will not claim I am not relieved to hear you speak as such.

[And although he knows this is where hope ought dwell, neither can he bring himself to say what he does not believe: that they will return. That this will, in time, seem more like a dream than fresh pain.

They might, yes. But Gabranth has never banked on hope.]

Your place is here. With us. You are needed, as you have always been.

[clawings]

[ There's another sigh. ]

Glad to hear that, man.

Still feel like shit but that'll pass eventually.

[archademode]

In the interim... [He starts— stops. Not quite certain of his own footing in unfamiliar territory, the patterns of his speech are halting at best. He was not meant for this.

But that does not mean he will not try.] should you have need of my presence, as easement, or.

Should you wish to drink, or spar, I would grant you the trouble of my own attendance.

[clawings]

I'll take you up on that. [ The drinking and the sparring, to be perfectly honest. ] When it's not some... unfortunate fuckin' hour of the night.

Sorry for wakin' you up to deal with my emotional shit.