“If it is unavoidable, it is unavoidable. But you cannot fear it, for it may also never come to pass.”
Like so many things in his experience, there is no foresight, no path that doesn’t twist itself into strange, unknowing knots. Yet he understands that Benedict has need of him— perhaps that will never change, no matter how he fights to see the man made independent, and so he adds, carefully:
“I would not leave you by choice. And should that choice not be given, I would not hesitate to find my own way back. Place faith in that.”
Oh, he can fear it all right. He can and he will. Who would he be, if he didn't? But Gabranth's answer is enough to soothe Benedict at least slightly, even as he lets his face slip down between his hands until he's cupping his cheeks. It's impossible to convey the intensity of desolation one feels when one's close connections simply dissolve without a trace, without even a goodbye. If there's a way back, would they not have found it by now?
But he nods, because he can hardly ask more than what Gabranth can physically give. And, if most people were asked, that's already far more than Benedict deserves. "I'll try," he murmurs, wishing he could find more confidence in it. But he may as well appreciate what he has, while it's here.
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Like so many things in his experience, there is no foresight, no path that doesn’t twist itself into strange, unknowing knots. Yet he understands that Benedict has need of him— perhaps that will never change, no matter how he fights to see the man made independent, and so he adds, carefully:
“I would not leave you by choice. And should that choice not be given, I would not hesitate to find my own way back. Place faith in that.”
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But Gabranth's answer is enough to soothe Benedict at least slightly, even as he lets his face slip down between his hands until he's cupping his cheeks. It's impossible to convey the intensity of desolation one feels when one's close connections simply dissolve without a trace, without even a goodbye. If there's a way back, would they not have found it by now?
But he nods, because he can hardly ask more than what Gabranth can physically give. And, if most people were asked, that's already far more than Benedict deserves.
"I'll try," he murmurs, wishing he could find more confidence in it. But he may as well appreciate what he has, while it's here.